The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone:
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration:
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8.Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon:
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido:
All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit:
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug:
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor:
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
