Monday, January 26, 2009
narcissus strikes back
From The Telegraph:
Hang Mioku, now 48, had her first plastic surgery procedure when she was 28; hooked from the beginning she moved to Japan where she had further operations - mostly to her face.
Following operation after operation, her face was eventually left enlarged and disfigured, but she would still look at herself in the mirror and think she was beautiful.
Eventually the surgeons she visited refused to carry out any more work on her and one suggested that her obsession could be a sign of a psychological disorder.
When she returned home to Korea the surgery meant Hang's features had changed so much that her own parents didn't recognise her.
After realising that the girl with the grossly swollen face was indeed their daughter her horrified parents took her to a doctor. Once again the possibility that Hang had a mental disorder was raised and she started treatment.
However, this treatment was too expensive for her to keep up and she soon fell back into old ways.
Amazingly, she found a doctor who was willing to give her silicone injects and, what's more, he then gave her a syringe and silicone of her own so she could self-inject.
When her supply of silicone ran out Hang resorted to injecting cooking oil into her face.
Her face became so grotesquely large that she was called "standing fan" by children in her neighbourhood - due to her large face and small body.
As Hang's notoriety spread she was featured on Korean TV. Viewers seeing the report took mercy on her and sent in enough donations to enable her to have surgery to reduce the size of her face.
During the first procedure surgeons removed 60g of foreign substance from Hang's face and 200g from her neck.
After several other sessions her face was left greatly reduced but still scarred and disfigured.
And it would seem that even Hang can now see the damage she has done; she now says that she would simply like her original face back.
Friday, January 23, 2009
biblically speaking, of course
"Good idea," I said, "but I forgot my Bible at home."
"Well," Rachel replied, "we all have ours. Just call out the names of random verses."
So I did. The first few went well, and then I called out this little gem: "GENESIS 30:3!" Down came the Bibles, pages flipping furiously, until Rachel shouted, "I have it!" She stood up, and read clearly, "She said, 'Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her that she may bear on my knees, that through her I too may have children.'"
Three blank stares on three preteen faces, all looking up at me. And before they could ask, "What does that mean?" I quickly shouted, "Proverbs 28:12!"
Mental note: the next time I do a Bible drill, I'll bring my own Bible to check the age-appropriateness of the verse.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
a-ha...that's funny
Actual Lyrics:
We're talking away
I don't know what
I'm to say I'll say it anyway
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
I'll be coming for your love, OK?
Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two
So needless to say
I'm odds and ends
But that's me stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
It's no better to be safe than sorry
Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two
Oh the things that you say
Is it life or
Just a play my worries away
You're all the things I've got to
remember
You're shying away
I'll be coming for you anyway
Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two
The new and improved video (with helpful subtitles):
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
my pg-13 google life
RULES:
Go to Google and type in your first name and the phrase. Copy and paste the first sentence/phrase you get that makes sense (or, in my case, the one that amused me the most).
Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Katie needs to show more leg ..and thigh ...Otherwise why watch?
Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Katie looks like an oompa-loompa with t!ts.
Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: Katie says “Iron” in a funny way.
Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: Katie Wants a Fast One.
Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Katie does a pull-up.
Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Katie hates her hair.
Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Katie asks a very serious question.
Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
A: Katie goes to Tokyo.
Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: Katie likes her binkie.
Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Katie eats a potato bug.
Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Katie wears short shorts.
Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: Katie was arrested for peeing in public at Times Square in New York on New Year's Eve'.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
i'll be the pinky to your brain
To get you going, here's a look at mine. I will probably need to update it at some point, however:
Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Mom never loved me
Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a town mascot. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, confused by your arrival. Who is this nightmare beyond comprehension? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a brain in a jar?
Stage Two
Next, you must vaporize the moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a floating fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will fall into catatonic trances, as countless hordes of mean english teachers hasten to do your every bidding.
Stage Three
Finally, you must unleash your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about an unending cacophony of screams. Your name shall become synonymous with the Spice Girls, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your superior firepower, and the world will have no choice but to lavish endless praise on your misdeeds.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
if you are trapped in a house surrounded by demons, making coffee will not help anyone
And such good advice, too. Like "Never climb a fence with barbed wire at the top to go skinny dipping in an unusual, mysterious, government-owned body of water. Especially if there are rumors about government 'happenings' circulating."
Or "Don't bother telling another character to 'Stay in the car.' They won't anyway, and will end up saving you."
And, of course, "Always use the buddy system. Also, make sure that your buddy is slower, weaker, or dumber than you are."
dance, dance
Apparently, it looked pretty gay. And for the record, I still like the Temptations, but now I have a whole new appreciation for them and their dancing skilz.
Monday, January 5, 2009
when you ride alone, you ride with hitler!









