Wednesday, January 7, 2009

i'll be the pinky to your brain

More fun-ness here: your world domination plan.

To get you going, here's a look at mine. I will probably need to update it at some point, however:

Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Mom never loved me

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a town mascot. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, confused by your arrival. Who is this nightmare beyond comprehension? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a brain in a jar?

Stage Two

Next, you must vaporize the moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a floating fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will fall into catatonic trances, as countless hordes of mean english teachers hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must unleash your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about an unending cacophony of screams. Your name shall become synonymous with the Spice Girls, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your superior firepower, and the world will have no choice but to lavish endless praise on your misdeeds.

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